Monthly Archives: February 2016

Mammograms of life’s beauty.

Mammogram is an X-ray of the breast that is taken
with a device that compresses and flattens the
breast. It plays a vital role in early detection of breast cancer
and helps in decreasing the threats to life. Every woman dreads
this for the fear of pain when the breast is literally crushed
between two glass plates. For some, though, it is painless. I, on
the other hand, had heard of the excruciating pain it causes.
The first time I detected a lump and was advised to do a
screening and mammogram, I had prepared myself to face it
as a new challenge. My first time, however, was not a painful
one. Later, I had to repeat it on my left breast, and each scan
or test was a new experience and challenge. I took it in a way
that made me to go through it without any fear. I have never
feared anything in life since.
The last experience of my mammogram — before my
second mastectomy — was very painful. It was a completely
new experience for me: a challenge of a new pain as the
technician was unable to get a clear picture. In both angles, it
was so painful that I had tears in my eyes without me knowing
it. I took it as a new experience: of knowing how it becomes
painful for many.
Pain has its own beauty: it proves to you that you are still
susceptible and that makes you alive. By the end of the day, the
screening had made my skin peel off and burn. It was a new
experience that challenged me. I do feel pain, but I preferred
to treat it as a proof of my life and as a beautiful experience
rather than moan over it. When I look back, after having
been stripped of the pride and beauty of womanhood, I don’t
feel any remorse of having lost it; only thankful for having
challenged by it and lived through it.
Woman’s beauty and pride,
sometimes is crushed
between two glass plates of,
an X-ray machine.
The breast once fondled,
and suckled by my babies,
is brutally battered
and pain reigns in.
Strangers under light,
only a scar remains,
becoming a wasteland of,
once a passion land.
It makes no difference,
for it served its purpose,
true love is not lust,
while beauty still reflects.
Why be devastated for,
that which the crab invaded
life is so precious,
and nothing else matters.

From “When I fell in love with life,”

Geetha Paniker.



I am struck by wanderlust bug,

to find joy in little things,

that fulfill my inner desires,

a wish to disappear,

into the magic cloak of mist.

To know my existence,

explore with a yearning,

the beauty of mist-kissed hills,

clouds playing hide and seek,

listening to the melody of the forest.

A call to wander  in the meadows

midst the wild flowers and butterflies,

soaking in the thunderous waterfalls,

drinking its breathtaking beauty,

with every breath of fresh air.

A thirst to wander unfolds,

as each day dawns,

mind aches to travel endless paths,

the unknown depths of seas and oceans,

That makes me dance with a fluttering heart.

© Geetha Paniker




A blanket of nothingness,
conceals everything within,
a cold self  distancing itself,
into an emotional hibernation.

Time to reflect in thawing,
from an overwhelmed feeling,
gnawing at the core,
closing off all feelings.

I drift into a  no man’s land,
retreating inwards in silence,
to heal the oozing scars,
of the heart and soul.

©Geetha Paniker